Many coaches admit, “I love coaching, but I hate selling.” To unpack this common issue, I spoke with Rich Bernstein, CEO and President of Mars Venus Coaching. Rich has been successfully selling since he was 16 years old. In this episode, Rich shares valuable insights on how coaches can transform their fear of selling into a genuine love for helping others.
The #1 Mistake Coaches Make
According to Rich, the primary mistake coaches make is believing they need to sell coaching itself. However, coaching is not the product. Instead, coaches should focus on helping potential clients envision a desired outcome or life goal.
“We’re not selling coaching; we’re selling a vision,” Rich explains. Coaches must guide clients to clearly see, feel, and connect emotionally with their goals—whether related to relationships, health, finance, or personal fulfillment. This clarity triggers the reticular activating system (RAS), a part of the brain that helps people figure out how to achieve what they genuinely desire.
Coaching as a Vehicle, Not the Destination
Rich emphasizes that coaching is simply the means to reach the client’s vision. “You’re creating a desire for that vision,” Rich says. “Forget about selling—just focus on helping clients discover and articulate their vision.”
The Four-Step Process for Successful Coaching Sales
Mars Venus Coaching teaches a structured four-step process to effortlessly transition potential clients from initial interest to committed coaching relationships:
Step 1: Spark Curiosity
When asked what you do, Rich recommends using intriguing terms like “gender-intelligent coach” to prompt curiosity. This naturally leads to a meaningful conversation.
Step 2: Identify Dissatisfaction and Vision
Instead of directly answering, ask prospective clients about their biggest challenge. This allows coaches to flip the client’s dissatisfaction into a clear, positive vision.
Step 3: Test Commitment
Offer a complimentary session but require clients to fill out a simple assessment form first. This form gauges their commitment based on how quickly and thoroughly they respond.
Step 4: Move to a Paid Session
After the complimentary session, offer one paid session at approximately a quarter of your monthly coaching fee. This tests the client’s willingness to invest both time and money.
The Importance of Vision Over Dissatisfaction
Rich underscores that dissatisfaction alone does not sell coaching. Instead, the power lies in transforming dissatisfaction into a clear, compelling vision. Coaches who effectively do this find selling becomes effortless.
Gender Intelligence in the Sales Process
Rich also highlights the importance of gender intelligence in coaching sales:
- Men: Prefer a linear, step-by-step process focused on achieving specific goals.
- Women: Respond better to interconnected approaches that consider how achieving their vision impacts various life areas, such as family, health, and relationships.
Rich advises avoiding terms like “goal” when speaking to women, as it can create unnecessary pressure. Instead, phrases like “What would you like to achieve?” or “How can we transform your life?” resonate better.
Structuring Coaching Fees
Rich recommends structuring coaching fees on a monthly basis rather than by a set number of sessions. This approach encourages ongoing client relationships rather than short-term engagements. Offering three package options typically results in clients choosing the middle package, avoiding the binary “yes or no” decision.
Overcoming the Fear of Asking for Money
If coaches struggle with asking for payment, Rich suggests reflecting on the genuine value their coaching provides. Understanding the transformative impact of coaching helps overcome emotional barriers around money.
Rich points out, “If coaching significantly improves someone’s happiness or relationship quality, the value of that improvement is priceless.”
Final Thoughts: Coach, Don’t Sell
Rich’s ultimate advice to coaches afraid of selling is simple yet profound: “Stop selling—start coaching people to want coaching.” The focus must always remain on providing clarity and value. By helping clients vividly see their vision and understand why they desire it, coaches naturally cultivate a genuine desire for their services.
Remember, “Don’t sell coaching; coach them to see their vision. When they clearly see and feel it, more people will naturally want what you offer.”